You Just Had To Be There...

7-18-10 B

I do apologize for the delay in writing. I’m sure you guys noticed nothing since well it’s always awhile between updates but I fear we will have far less entries next time we get internet. I feel like that last few weeks have been rather calm. I mean yes, we’ve had probably 6 rats killed and yes we’ve had a ton of awkward moments….but all in all…I feel it’s calming down.

Let’s see. I think the neighborhood children have finally come to the conclusion that I love them and I am a sucker for all things children. I’ll walk outside and I’ll have like 7 kids sitting on my tiny little porch whispering. It’s adorable. Or I’ll be cooking and hear someone whispering outside and think someone’s in my back yard (which is completely enclosed) and it will be a group of kids going to use our latrine. It’s adorable! I think my counterpart’s son has a crush on me. He’s 7 and ADORABLE!! He stands outside at the far end of our walkway, behind a pole and slowly sticks his head out until he see’s me and then ducks back behind it. It’s awesome. I love that they all know me by name and have stopped calling me muzungu!

Meg and Seth…we FINALLY got your package. It was in Rwanda for seriously a month before we were able to get to it. When we opened it…we were SOOOO surprised. We thought it was filled with toys and what nots for the children but honestly were pleasantly surprised to find you had seriously packed that dude! We are STILL enjoying its products and it’s been 3 weeks since we opened it. Thank you so much!

Our yoga friends have come and gone. We had a great time getting to know them. I have never sat down and had a conversation with a bunch of New Yorkers before. It was great. They were all so educated. I tried to help our boss, Frank, cook every night and that was so much fun. We prepared the most outlandish meals. From green pea risotto to quinoa to sushi. That’s right people. SUSHI. In the middle of the forest…I rolled sushi for the first time. It was something. They had brought all the food with them; I know you’re wondering where we got that food. They brought probably 3 or 4 huge suitcases of food!! Crazy…it was good though. Now back to the simple life of Banda.

As Jarod mentioned, we got rid of our umukozi (house lady), Charlotte and hired a new one, Betty. I am soooo thankful for this! Betty is AMAZING. She has been an umukozi for over 7 years (she’s 19) and knows how to cook the most delicious meals from what they have here in our little village. I fear weight gain is in my future.  She knows so much about everything. From every type of tree to plant to herbs, etc. It’s been wonderful. She picked some wild lemon grass for me and made the most delicious tea. I am so thankful! We had heard before that our other girl, her family wasn’t so great and yesterday we were told that supposedly her mom was called out in church. There were these traveling missionaries who “prophesied there was a witch among them” and then they grabbed her and tried to “force her to give up her poisons she puts in food.” CREEPY! Who knows if it’s true, but still raises the hairs on your arm…?

Yesterday, we attended our first gusaba. It is a pre-dowry ceremony. In America (this only applies to us traditional peoples); we have the asking of the father, the engagement, and the wedding. Here it’s very similar but yet different. Basically, the man and woman decide they want to be together. The woman then tells her family and they decide yes or no. If they say no, that’s it. It all stops. Mostly though, they say yes and that’s where the gusaba comes in. The man brings buckets and buckets of food, beer and fantas to the girls’ family. His friends and family help carry it singing all the way. Then, the man has an appointed speaker, for he is not allowed to talk the whole day (the woman is also not allowed to be seen). The speaker then tells the woman’s’ family what the man wants and then the appointed speaker for the woman agrees and tells the man what he is to give. Traditionally it was a cow. Now-a-days it’s 200,000 RF or 400,000 RF if she’s educated. They bring out drinks. After drinks, they bring out food. Yes, they feed everyone. Then, they bring out the beer. The woman’s family offers the beer the man just brought (Two, 5 liter jerry cans) to the man. His speaker then stands and accepts but gives 1 back as a sign of sharing and family. Everyone drinks. (We were told that the beer yesterday was non-alcoholic but I’m not sure if this is common everywhere or what). Then, after the beer is gone, the “close family” goes inside the house and the woman is brought out FINALLY to hug the man. Next will be the dowry ceremony in which the man will pay the woman’s family. After she is “bought” they are free to begin planning the wedding. It’s a long process since 200,000 is A LOT here in Rwanda. Especially in my village where people have a hard time paying 100 RF for soap. So, when we finally attend the dowry I’ll let you in on the details. On a much different note, I experienced something very different during that ceremony. The part where they feed everyone. Of course, they brought out plates for all the adults. Well, there were probably 30 kids just standing around and as the adults became full, they passed their plates to the children. I wasn’t hungry in the first place so once I noticed this, I quickly passed my plate. I can’t even use words except, picture a shark feeding frenzy. They children literally were grabbing the food and SHOVING it into their little mouths. At one point, one of the girls holding the plate dropped it and without missing a beat, the children were on their knees eating the rice and beans from the floor. I almost lost it. Our counterpart told us they never even get rice because it‘s so expensive…mostly only sweet potatoes every single day. It completely broke my heart. So of course I handed my Fanta over quickly, which here EVERYONE drinks Fanta. The children started actually fighting over the Fanta. I don’t know if they’d ever had one but it was heartbreaking. We contemplated taking it away just to stop the fighting but we ended up just walking away. I don’t even know how to describe it to you. You just had to be there…..