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on almost everyone since we can actually relate to ALL of them!! Jarod
edited it a little for the one that didn't fit our lives or were not
so appropriate for readers! :) We hope you enjoy it.
You might be a Peace Corps volunteer in Rwanda if…
1. You refuse to walk outside in even the slightest drizzle
2. Pooping is your biggest accomplishment for the day…or the week…
3. 6:30 a.m. is sleeping in, and 9:30 p.m. is a wild and crazy night.
4. And for you, it is somehow easier, in the life, to become
accustomed to speak English like this.
5. You refer to people as "that one there" and it no longer
feels even a little rude.
6. You even occasionally refer to yourself as "this one here"
and it just feels so right.
7. Your tailbone has been ground to dust thanks to hard benches
and five-hour ceremonies.
8. You think that women look drab if they are wearing few than
four distinct colors.
9. You can carry on an entire conversation using grunts and
"mmmmmm" noises.
11. You text while riding motos.
12. Text messages from MTN make you sad, because for a second you
thought that you had friends.
13. All your socks have a permanent burnt sienna hue.
14. You put on the good-smelling sunscreen to disguise the fact that
you haven't bathed in several days—and that's basically the only time
you wear sunscreen.
15. You become fiercely territorial when there are unidentified
abazungu (white people) in your village.
16. Rather than kill all the creeping and crawling critters in your
house, you name them all and invent elaborate soap operas about their
lives.
17. There's no such thing as too much shine.
18. The majority of your budget goes toward buying toilet paper,
candles, and phone credit.
21. You know that there's always room for one more person on the bus.
22. But you have still elbowed someone in the face in order to get
on the bus before them.
23. You feel no remorse about elbowing people in the face while
boarding buses.
24. The tall people in Kigali scare you.
25. You are not even a little freaked out when the village crazy
runs up to you and tries to steal your umbrella from right out of your
grasp.
26. You are at least one hour late to everything…and are still the
first person to arrive.
27. You pray your god in bed on Sunday morning.
28. You recognize the four major food groups as salt, sugar, starch, and oil.
29. Your pillow, mattress, sheets, and hair all have scorch marks
from reading in bed by candlelight or from drying them by charcoal stove.
30. You vow to never trim your toenails by candlelight again. Ever.
32. Standing in your yard, staring at the road, is a perfectly
acceptable way to pass a Saturday afternoon.
33. You can open a Fanta bottle with virtually anything and everything.
34. You can eat a jar of peanut butter in two days.
35. You have a major existential crisis and seriously contemplate
quitting Peace Corps when you realize that you are out of
peanut butter.
37. The only snap, crackle, and pop that you hear is the sound of
insects exploding in your candle's flame.
39. You walk around your house with small objects balanced on your head.
40. Your first reaction to MTN's free calls after 11 promo was "if
anyone dares to call me that late, I will end them."
41. You cry at the sight of Cheez-Its.
42. You find it easier to agree with people that "it is the change
in the climate which has made you so ill."
43. You hate the dry season, until the rainy season begins. Then
you hate that too.
45. "It it's not oozing pus, it is not a problem" is your personal
health motto.
48. The preschoolers in your village are all trained to hug you.
49. Hugs become slightly awkward because you failed to realize that
preschoolers grow quickly, and that many of their faces are now
uncomfortably level with your crotch.
50. You no longer give clothing the sniff test, because you know
that you're going to wear it anyway.
51. You refuse to reply to anyone that screams at you from beyond
your response radius.
52. Depending on your mood, your response radius can extend for your
entire district, or only as far as your arm hair.
54. It's weird to see grown men walking beside each other and not
holding hands.
55. You no longer believe that rabbits are cute. You believe that
they should be roasted on a stick.
56. You sometimes play your radio very softly so that the neighbors
won't know that you're home.
57. You are always the sweatiest person in the room.
60. You look at a plate of greasy, salty fries and think, "this
needs mayonnaise."
61. You have found mold in very improbably places.
62. You frequently eat an entire pineapple and spend the rest of the
evening poking yourself in the belly and singing the SpongeBob
SquarePants theme song.
63. You are determined to streak the tea fields.
64. You do a double-take when you see someone carrying a backpack on
their back instead of on their head.
65. You talk to goats.
66. Chamberpots are suddenly very practical.
68. Everyone knows your routine. And everyone comments if you
deviate from it.
69. You no longer look at the menu, because what you order is not
likely to be what you get.
70. You talk about anything on a bus because no one can understand you.
71. It's extremely embarrassing when there's a surprise Ugandan on
the bus who can understand everything you say.
72. You have come to accept the fact that, just because it claims to
be an internet café, that is no guarantee there will be an internet
connection. Or a computer.
73. Your favorite game is to see how many Disney lyrics you can slip
into everyday conversation.
74. Your most reliable source of protein is the fruit flies that
drown in your coffee.
