It's me again. Just writing to update you all. So I went yesterday to get my 5 dollar massage. It was well interesting to say the least. At one point she was on top of me and at another I was on top of her. It is a "Thai" massage for a reason. Not to be confused with the relaxing Swedish massage. Instead this combines flexibility and sheer power. I kept thinking to myself 'I wonder if Jarod would like this' and then my leg would be above my head and I would reassure myself that answer to that would be no.
First of all, you are on the floor on a mat. Then, you put on pajamas and she enters. Oh boy...she doesn't stop till 60 minutes have flown by. She started with my feet and not just massaging but shoving her thumbs into your nerves in your foot and then slowly presses as hard as she can up the sciatic nerve to her groin area. Mostly as far as she can possibly go. Then she starts bending your legs all over the place and putting you into positions I didn't know were possible! At one point she was super quiet and stopped moving so I peeked my eyes open and she was holding the curtain open to the next massage room, where my friend is laying naked getting massaged, talking to the lady! It's funny because Thai people are super quiet and very respectful, but apparently talking in a massage is not bad. Then, she flipped me over and this is where it got crazy. I thought surely I'd wake up in another room but no, she didn't throw me anywhere it just felt like it. So, she starts crawling, that's right crawling up your calves to your hamstring. Then, once shes worked her entire way up to your butt, while sitting on your legs with all her weight she gave me a very thorough butt massage. Then, she stood, yes stood upon my hams. Grabbed my arms and yanked. Pretty sure my spine cracked about a billion times. I was just thinking over and over, 'lady don't know if you know about that thing that holds the back up but my doesn't go any farther than that.' Then, she pinned my arms behind my head and was laying on top of me while I was in a seated position. Then, she took my arms and counted to 3 slowly while barely swinging me to the side and then all of a sudden, 3 meant go and she slung me to the side so that my side and back cracked like an old can. After this, she somehow worked me up and under her until I was dangling in the air while her knees pinned my arms behind my back my head was basically laying on her chest. Then, the best part of all as she was working me back down with her feet, her toes caught my pants and pulled them down. That's right, totally bare butt sitting on her feet. It was so funny. I tried not to bust out laughing because all around me people were less than 2 feet away being massaged in a relaxing way while I was being contorted like a tortilla! Finally, I gave a little giggle and she did too so I felt a little more normal.
It was truly one of the oddest experiences of my life. I didn't know that at the same time 2 of the other girls on the trip were getting the same massage on the other side of town so we can came back laughing and totally enveloped in this whole 'what the heck just happened to me' bubble.
To make my massage even better, when me and the other 2 girls (there are 5 of us total) that were in the room with me got through, they explained how their "relaxing" normal massages went. Here in Thailand, apparently nothing is too discrete and they pull the sheet ALL the way down and massage your breast and the butt. It was all in all a really funny and interesting day.
Then we watched another movie. :) Yay!! Tomorrow we're off to elephant riding and river rafting. I'm attaching some very very basic pictures I found of a Thai massage. Keep in mind it is MUCH MUCH more extensive than this, but this is an example!
These are pictures I found on the web and are not anyone I know. And aren't nearly as extensive as what me and the other 2 girls got yesterday!
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