words from the heart

It's me again…the tall thin one…with a beard.  I feel like all of my blog posts are just about our experiences and the activities we do.  We explain about our life in Rwanda and all the weird things that we encounter.  But I don't think I have ever really taken the time to just explain how we feel about them and our life here…so hear it goes…hang on to what you got cause I am not sure where I am going with this.

So…I always wondered if living in a third world country for an extended period of time would change who I am.  I always thought it almost had to but honestly, would it really and if so, would it change you in a good way.  Would you see the world in a different light, be inspired by those that are less fortunate, have your eyes opened to things you never noticed before or understood, develop a passion for things you never knew you were passionate about.  Or, would you become so jaded by the things you see everyday, the unreliable, frustrating and sometimes corrupt system you live and work in, the sickness, disease, poverty, malnutrition and death you experience on a continual basis, the stares and looks of others insinuating you don't belong here and we don't want you here.  These are the things I thought about before coming and 16 months into it, i am still not sure how I feel about all of it.  

I recently read a book called "The hole in our Gospel" by Richard Stearns, president of World Vision and I would encourage anybody who considers themselves a Christian to read it as well.  He talks mostly about the mandate for the Church to stop just going to church but to actually be the hands and feet of Christ.  He talks about the cry of our world and the need for us to reach out to others, our neighbors whether that be across the street or across the Atlantic.  We have for so long put so much emphasis and effort into "converting" others and "reaching the lost and dying" but I feel we have done so in an ineffective way.   Christ didn't change the very foundation of our world by strictly preaching the gospel, verbally that is.  He was the gospel and embodied it.  Others didn't come running to him because he told them they were dying and going to hell unless they repented of their sins.  They ran to him because they saw something attractive and appealing about and in him.  I truly believe there is nothing more attractive in Christianity than physically showing the love of Christ.  And how do we do that…by simply loving others.  Sadly, there are few other things about Christianity that others admire and most if not all would say they don't see these characteristics in Christians.  Instead what they see is, judgmental, self-righteous, close-minded hypocrites.  This is truly sad and I hate to say it but, it is the truth.  

Christ didn't come to be served but he came to serve…heal the sick, feed the hungry, visit the imprisoned, take in the stranger, set free those that were bound and the list goes on and on…but this list has one objective - to serve.  These are the things that are attractive to the world but unfortunately they aren't seeing it in Christians.  This should be a wake up call to the Church.  To be honest, I am not so sure any more that someone can even enter heaven without making an effort to love and serve others they way Christ did.  There are many scriptures in the bible that talk about the role of the church in serving others.  About, is this not the type of fasting I have chosen for you…to break free the chains of the captives…feed the hungry…etc.  When reading these types of passages, it seems clear to me that if you don't strive to do these things, you are failing in your job as a Christian and I feel these passages make that clear.  I truly believe that many times the biggest sins are sins of omission rather than commission and I feel that we have so often omitted the presence of servanthood in our Christian walk with Christ.  It seems that if we really wanted to be like Christ that we would want our hearts to be broken by the things that break the heart of God.  Surely this would cause us to jump into action and be the hands and feet of Christ right…or would it?   This doesn't sound like a pleasant and comfortable way to live.  It actually sounds like the opposite…it might even be painful and cause our hearts to be overwhelmed with grief…but maybe they would be overwhelmed to the point where we couldn't just sit by and watch as thousands of children die daily from 100% preventable diseases like diarrhea and malaria.  

Anyway, the book explains it so much better than I ever could and puts things so much more into perspective…read it if any of this is interesting to you.  So, back to where I left off about how I feel about our life here and how it has impacted our lives.  It's really weird and I don't know if I will fully know how it has changed or impacted me until I return.  I don't think we can even explain most of it…it is just something you have to experience for yourself.  That is why I am so excited I have someone to share this experience with.  Otherwise, I would return home in a year, tell friends and family all about these amazing experiences I had in Africa and watch as they slowly become uninterested and unconcerned.  Not because they don't care but because they can't relate at all to what our life is like here.  That has been one of the tough things about re-integration into life back home for PCVs since PC started 50 years ago.  

So, I hope this has made since to you and maybe even encouraged someone to be more the hands and feet of Christ as He desired for us …whoever you are reading this.  I had no idea where this was going to go but just felt like I should write a blog that dealt at least a little bit with my feelings.  Anyway, remember, going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than being in a garage makes you a car!

Jarod